Throughout my singing career I have overcome several emotional and physical blocks. As a dancer and yogi, the path has always been through intuitive body-led movement that I've found freedom.
For a long time singing felt like fighting myself. I'd feel frozen in my body and locked up in my voice. I strangled every sound that came out of my mouth with self judgement thinking I could "technique" my vocal problems away.
My "vocal issues" got worse as time went on to the point where I was getting sinus infections and laryngitis every other month that would last 1-2 weeks. My body and voice were run down and I was embarrassed to tell people that I was a singer.
I tried everything from Alexander Technique lessons to a glutein-free diet.
On a whim I decided to humor my best friend and visit this "Amazing" singing school that she found in Portland. I sat down in a room of people for an introduction to the Transformational Voice Institute. When Linda began to speak I knew I had stumbled on something amazing. Tears came pouring out. Afterwords we spoke and she told me that she knew why I was getting sick so much despite my spiritual practices and healthy life-style. She said that I was a singer and artist to my core and that when I singer holds all that creative energy inside it eats them up.
I dropped everything, moved to Portland and began studying with Linda as an apprentice. I spend 15 years searching for a teacher like Linda. She is the best of the best. Her method is simple yet powerful.
I have a confession, even after all these years I still don't have singing figured out. There are mysteries to the voice that still baffle me. Like why singing can feel different every day, or why after years and years of practice it still feels terrifying to sing in front of people, and why so much emotion and stress lodge in the voice (although I've been researching this - how emotion connects to vocal tension).
But here's what I do know. I know that I can sing beautifully within my limitations and that the more I surrender to these limitations, the more I open. The more I give away both teaching and performing, the more I have. I also know that singing is a spiritual gift and ultimately I have no control over it. It moves through me but does not belong to me. After years and years of searching for answers this is definitely not the one I was hoping for. However, it's what I've got and I invite you to join me in the unknown of what we can create when we open to source - body, mind and spirit.